CIGARETTE

To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did; I ought to know because I have done it a thousand times.

Mark Twain

I am glad I do not have to explain to a man from Mars why each day I set fire to dozens of little pieces of paper, and then put them in my mouth.

Michael McLaughlin

Statistics and Stuff

Chances that a first time cigarette smoker will become addicted: 9 in 10. 

Charis Conn, Ed., What Counts: The Complete Harper's Index.