DATING

John Barrymore once played the role of a father who disapproved of the man his daughter planned to marry. In one scene, the daughter had to ask Barrymore what he thought of her fiancé, who had just exited. Barrymore was supposed to answer, "I think he's a dirty dog." One night, when the bridegroom-to-be walked off stage, he accidentally tipped over a pitcher of water. Barrymore watched in fascination as a puddle formed. A moment later, his daughter asked, "What do you think of Tom, father?" "I think he's a dirty dog," Barrymore answered. Then he ad-libbed, "And what's more, he isn't even housebroken!" 

Bits & Pieces, December 13, 1990.

Statistics and Stuff

A study at a Midwestern school showed that 80% of the women who had intercourse hoped to marry their partner. Only 12% of the men had the same expectation 

Robert J. Collins in the Chicago Tribune, quoted in HIS, February, 1976.

Humor

I went over to my girlfriend's house, and found she'd already gone out with her boyfriend.