FOOTBALL

Surprised to see an empty seat at the Super Bowl stadium, a diehard fan remarked about it to a woman sitting nearby. "It was my husband's," the woman explained, "But he died." "I'm very sorry," said the man. "Yet I'm really surprised that another relative, or friend, didn't jump at the chance to take the seat reserved for him." "Beats me," she said. "They all insisted on going to the funeral."

Coffee Break.

Woman griping about football to friend: "The most exciting play of the season was when my Stanley sat in the cheese dip."

Unknown.

If a husband watches more than 3 football games a week the wife should have him declared legally dead and have his estate probated.

Erma Bombeck.

Imagine another world looking down at 60,000 people who pay $900,000 to sit in a stadium that cost $45 million to watch 22 men being paid $7 million a year dispute the possession of a ball that costs $16.95.

Unknown.