LIFE

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.

Richard L. Evans, Bits & Pieces, March 4, 1993, p. 2.

Someone has calculated how a typical lifespan of 70 years is spent. Here is the estimate:

Sleep................23 years...........32.9%
Work.................16 years...........22.8%
TV....................8 years...........11.4%
Eating................6 years............8.6%
Travel................6 years............8.6%
Leisure.............4.5 years............6.5%
Illness...............4 years............5.7%
Dressing..............2 years............2.8%
Religion............0.5 years............0.7%

Total................70 years............100%

Our Daily Bread, November 25, 1992.

In an average lifetime, the average American spends 3 years in business meetings, 13 years watching TV, Spends $89,281 on food, consumes 109,354 pounds of food, Makes 1811 trips to McDonalds, Spends $6881 in vending machines, Eats 35,138 cookies and 1483 pounds of candy, Catches 304 colds, Is involved in 6 motor vehicle accidents, is hospitalized 8 times (men) or 12 times (women), Spends 24 years sleeping. 

Tom Heymann, In an Average Lifetime.

The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills, wills. 

Richard J. Needham, The Wit and Wisdom of Richard Needham.

A story making the rounds concerns a Biology I examination in which the students were asked: "Suppose you could take to Mars any of the laboratory equipment used in this course. How would you determine if there was life on Mars?" One student responded: "Ask the inhabitants. Even a negative answer would be significant." The student got an A. 

Carl Sagan, Other Worlds.

If I had my whole life to live over again, I don't think I'd have the strength. 

Flip Wilson.

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart. 

Erma Bombeck.