PRECAUTION

A woman locked herself out of her car, and a passer-by volunteered to go in search of a wire coat hanger, a standard implement in such cases. He returned shortly and was starting to sculpt the hanger into proper shape to invade the car when suddenly he stopped. "Are you sure this car is yours?" he asked the lady in distress. "I just did seven years for this same thing." 

Lillian Feinstein, quoted by Lawrence Van Gelder in New York Times.

In a Kentucky service station: "The only reason we have what you want to borrow is because we never loaned it." 

Bill Mayer, quoted by Joe Creason in Louisville Courier-Journal.

In a candle shop in Massachusetts: "Dogs with big tails not allowed." 

Contributed by Doris Doane.

Advice from an old carpenter: "Measure twice, and saw once." 

Bits and Pieces, December, 1989, p. 18.